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Relationships
and Hepatitis C – Will I find a partner?
I am often asked how I met my partner by other
people that have hepatitis C. They find
it hard to disclose that they have the virus, and most people often live with
this disease alone. There seems to be quite a bit of fear in
telling people that you have hepatitis C, but in my own experience I have found
that it is a relief to tell others and I feel that being up front in the
beginning of a relationship makes all the difference.
It wasn’t until, one day, after taking my son
to work that it hit home that maybe I would not have another partner. He came home after work and was telling me
that his other workmates were enquiring as to who the “blonde” was that dropped
him off at work, he informed them that it was his mother, they asked the normal
questions “does she have a partner” he replied “no”, they asked “why”, he replied “she has hepatitis C”. I was quite shocked to hear this; it gave me
an insight into what my son was thinking.
I met my partner whilst I was working, we
eventually became friends by just talking to each other, after a couple of
months we decided to go out for dinner. I was quite nervous, as I had not been out on a date for years, I too also
believed that I would not meet anyone or that no one would want to be with
someone that had hepatitis C.
However, I was lonely and decided to give it a
go. We went to a nice restaurant, and
started chatting about all different topics. I asked him about his life, then he asked me about my life, and I told
him the truth, that I had hepatitis C. He didn’t know anything about Hepatitis C and he asked many questions.
It was to my surprise that this man didn’t step
back away from me, he was genuinely interested and wanted to know.
I had also prepared myself for the fact that if
he didn’t want to see me again after I had told him, well, he wouldn’t ring
back or be in touch. I was ready for this, I thought that if this happened,
well, so be it, at least I was honest. I
would have had to tell him eventually anyway, and keeping it from him would
have been worse.
I had done quite a lot of research on hepatitis
C, I obtained pamphlets on the virus from the Hospital and Hepatitis C Council,
any information I could find I gathered, so that if anyone asked me about the
virus I had it all there for them to read.
I gave these pamphlets to my partner to read
the next time we met so that he could understand more about the virus. We met
each other a couple of times a week, then after a few months these meetings were
more frequent. Eventually, I met his adult children and his parents, sister and
brother.
At this time I was getting myself ready to go
on the interferon/ribavirin treatment and we decided not to tell his family
about the Hepatitis C, hoping that if I cleared the virus they would not need
to be told.
However, I was on the treatment for 24 weeks in
which the virus was undetectable, but after the 6 months blood tests I had
relapsed. My partner was very
encouraging throughout the treatment and was a fantastic support. This was a very difficult time in my life and
another story I will share at a later time.
After another 6 months we decided to tell his
adult children about hepatitis C, they were quite concerned that their father
was at risk, and feared that he may become infected. Once I informed them of all the facts about
the disease they were alright, they also respected their father’s choices as
long as he was happy. I told them that I
had been up front from the beginning of the relationship with their father and
that was the best thing that I could have said, they realized that I did not
hide the fact that I had hepatitis C and that I was honest from the start. I have a fantastic relationship with his
children.
Recently my partner told me that it meant a lot
to him that I confided in him about my hepatitis C on that first date, and that
trust and respect was built from this in his eyes.
I chose to tell his adult children about the
virus because there were times when I have been too tired or confused,
depressed or needed to rest and I had to cancel dinners with the family and
they often asked where I was or they wondered why I wasn’t there. It became quite a chore hiding the fact that
I had hepatitis C, when it was such a big part of my life living with the
symptoms. I was always anxious before
and during family get-togethers in case anyone asked me questions, it was
assumed that I did nothing all day, didn’t work and was healthy but lazy. My usual way out of this was to say I was
busy helping my children, gardening or doing housework, and then I would ask
them a question to turn the conversation around back to them. This works, get other people talking about
themselves to take the pressure off you. However, doing this repeatedly can become very boring and uninformative
to the other persons involved, as if you are hiding something or are living a
very mysterious life.
There is no reason to think that you may not
meet anyone as a person with hepatitis C, there are people out there that are
very understanding and once told all the facts, then their fear goes away and
you earn respect and trust. We need to
educate the public about the disease, to make life easier for ourselves, which
is why I don’t hide the fact I have hepatitis C, the more people that come out
and be honest, explain the facts, then the more understanding we will
receive. Who knows, it may help reduce the
stigma we are forced to live with at this time.
This is my experience with relationships and
hepatitis C which worked for me, it is my opinion to be honest and up front,
but of course everyone has different circumstances which may prevent this from
happening, but don’t give up and don’t think you have to live with this disease
alone, there is someone out there for you to share your life with.
An AHCS Article www.hepcaustralia.com.au
Any AHCS articles are to be shared on other websites with acknowledgement of the Australian Hepatitis C Support (AHCS)
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